Break my heart, why don’t you

I started sponsoring a Compassion child 14 years ago.  Shortly after that, I started sponsoring a second child.  12 years into sponsoring them, I felt I had to stop because we had a baby on the way and I was going to be a stay at home Mom.  We have always faithfully tithed to our church and supported missionary friends of mine, as well as sponsoring the Compassion  kids.  But, something had to go.

I kept the pictures of both of the kids I sponsored on the refrigerator.   But, a day or two ago, I finally threw them away.  I guess it was guilt that made me do it.   Seeing their sweet faces, feeling like I had abandoned them.  Let them down.

I had written on the pictures how much longer each child had left in the program.  One should graduate out of it this year, if she hasn’t already.  The other will be done in 2013.

I had a deep connection with the first child I sponsored.  We wrote each other often.  We talked of meeting in person.  In  fact, one time I sent him a fake Passport with stickers from all the  States and he said he pretended with his siblings that it was a real Passport and that he could come and visit me.

I had hoped to visit him in the  Philipines as Compassion has trips for sponsors to go and do just that. But things changed.  I got married.  Had a baby.  Quit working.

Several blog posts about Compassion and trips people have taken with them have come across my plate lately.  Tonight I read yet another one, and knew I just couldn’t sit here and do nothing any longer.

I am still a stay at home Mom without a salary.  But, I do Swagbucks, and that gives me gift cards that surely I can sell for cash.  And I have been selling things left and right on eBay.  Plus I have some “pre-marriage” savings that I’ve been holding onto for God  knows what.  Perhaps for this moment.

So, I just emailed Compassion to find out, if by chance, the boy who I first sponsored still needs a sponsor.  I can’t imagine he does.  But, it was worth asking, right?  If they say no, I’ll select another child.

I heard a great idea recently.  To sponsor a child with the same birthday as your child so they will have a deep connection and can write one another.  I think that’s what I’ll do if it turns out that my #1 choice isn’t available.

One thing is for sure.  I have to do something to help the hurting children and their families in this world.    I think this is the answer.  At least for now.

I’ll keep you posted on what I hear back about the first boy I sponsored.


One thought on “Break my heart, why don’t you

  1. first I applaud you for being an at-home-mom and for the love you did express to other children over the years… there is nothing like the unconditional love of a mother… and you seem to have it… your prayers are just as valuable as concrete things… pray others who do have more finances hearts are soften… do it for the lost little children… thanks

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